Union
by tumbuddy
Summary: Fidel and Castro get drunk. The results aren't exactly disastrous.


The year is still 1959 and a few weeks after their brutal revolution that turned them into the leaders of Cuba, Fulgencio and Fidel find their way to Havana, as two bros being dudes.

After establishing a place to stay at another crappy hotel, it is early evening and the two men are itching for something to do. They move around their room, each moving their box of things while getting ready for a night out.

"Where are we going tonight?" Fidel asks.

Fulgencio pauses and takes a moment to think. "How about we go to a prostitute area?"

"How about just a bar?" Fidel rolls his eyes, uninterested in prostitutes.

"Good enough, we can pick up chicks there too." Fidel rolls his eyes again.

A few hours and a few beers later, the two men are sitting in a bar, trying and failing to pick up women. Fidel watches Fulgencio flirt with women, get rejected and come sit back down, while he sips his beer, amused.

"Another bust? Maybe you should give it up."

"Nah, man."

Fidel says nothing and turns his attention back to his beer.

A few more hours and a lot of more beers, the two men continue to be rejected are also very drunk. They decide to leave the bar and stagger on down the street, without a direction in their minds.

"You're my best friend" Fidel slurs to Fulgencio, not used to drinking so much.

"I love you." Fulgencio slurs back.

They walk drunkenly past a wedding chapel and stop to look back at each other.

"I love you, too."

"We should spend the rest of our lives together, bro. We should get married."

Fidel looks up at Fulgencio with drunken admiration. He briefly wonders if there's a word for being or acting gay. "Bro, okay."

They walk into the chapel holding hands, two dudes being bros. Because hand-holding and marrying another man is just something bros do, no homo. Also let's just pretend gay marriage was a thing at the time to make it interesting.

They walk up to the front of the chapel still holding hands.

The resulting marriage is a blur for both of them because they are very drunk. After they go out and buy wedding rings then pass out in their hotel room, on the same bed, nearly naked.

"Duuude" Fulgencio groans as he wakes up. He then realizes he is in his underwear next to Fidel, with an available bed across the room. "Dude" he says again urgently waking Fidel.

"What the fuck, Fulgencio?" Fidel annoyingly groans.

"Dude" Fulgencio cries as he realizes he has a wedding ring on his finger, as this is all he can say at this moment.

"Fulgencio, the fuck? What?" At the moment, Fulgencio thrusts his left hand in Fidel's face, unable to find any words other than 'dude'. "? ? ? Married? Dude, no chick would even look at you last night" Fidel pushes Fulgencio's hand away from his face and tries to get up.

Fulgencio grabs Fidel's left hand as he gets up. "Dude!" He exclaims, still at a loss for words and unable to put the pieces together.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

A silence hangs over the room as the two confused men search for their words and a possible explanation. They both realize, suddenly and violently, that they are sharing the same bed (in their underwear) and there are no women in sight.

"Did we get married last night?" Fidel whispers.

"Holy fuck," Fulgencio whispers at the same time. "I think so."

"Fuck"

They spend the rest of their morning in silence. Until they realize, at the same convenient moment, that they love each other and that's why they got married.

". . . Dude" Fulgencio begins at one end of the room.

"Yeah, bro."

"I love you."

"Duude, I love you too." Fidel crosses the room to Fulgencio.

"Cool, what now?"

They make out for approximately 3 hours or 3 minutes, either way it was extremely awkward because neither of them had ever kissed another man before. After the initial awkwardness, they make out for the next 3 years, probably.

"Nice, cool, okay. What do we do now that we're married?" Fidel asks, breaking off the awkwardest/ hottest makeout session of his life.

"Buy a house?"

"I'm pretty sure we have, like, 3 whole dollars between the two of us but yeah, okay. Sounds good. Where do you want to live?"

". . . I haven't thought that far ahead."

"Me neither."

5 whole entire minutes of silence go by and they continue standing there, staring at each other.

"Let's makeout until one of us comes up with a plan or whatever." Fulgencio suggests and Fidel shrugs.

Neither of them come up with a plan because the makeout session was too intense.


End file.
